The holiday season is here! Some people look forward to spending time with family. But for others, it fills them with dread and triggers old wounds. What used to be a joyful time can now lead to stress and anxiety due to family tension and drama. Let’s be real – the holidays are not always a Hallmark movie. This time of year can be rough, making you sad, nervous, and irritable. If this is you, please know that you are not alone. Let us help you process these feelings.
5 Ways To Manage Family Tension During The Holidays
For many of us, family tension seems like a family tradition. People often make jokes about spending time with family over the holidays because it’s so common. Family feuds, intense political discussions, and sibling squabbles are just a few examples of what people often experience when gathering together during holiday events. These negative family interactions may seem unavoidable, but you don’t have to participate. Follow some of these strategies and be the one who rises above the family temper tantrums:
- Give yourself distance and a place to escape. If traveling to visit family, book a hotel room or stay at another neutral location. Plan to keep your visit short and communicate this with your family. Sometimes just knowing that you have a safe place to escape when family tensions start rising helps.
- Limit alcohol intake. The over-consumption of alcohol can lower your inhibitions, making you say things you might regret in the morning. If there’s already underlying family tension, too much alcohol added to the mix is a recipe for disaster. It’s ok to enjoy a glass of wine or a spiked eggnog, however, try not to use alcohol as a coping mechanism for stress. Try to find healthy coping strategies and self-care methods instead.
- Be aware of your contribution to the situation. Having negative thoughts about your family and how the holidays will unfold can lead to your own negative behavior. Make a plan on how to manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors so they don’t manage you.
- Let go of expectations and accept others for who they are. We can’t change people no matter how much we want to. You may not agree with everything your loved ones say and do, but you can focus on your own attitude and self-awareness. If you find yourself feeling triggered by unwanted advice, political discussions, and things of that nature, it may be time to excuse yourself politely. Instead, take a walk before things escalate. Go to another room and play a game with the children. Try to find a fun alternative instead of contributing to the negative atmosphere of these types of discussions.
- Avoid conflict and potentially upsetting topics. Try to avoid all of the hot-button topics such as politics and religion as they can lead to division and a tense atmosphere. Unwanted advice and intrusive questions about people’s personal lives can also lead to conflict and are best left to talk about one-on-one at a later time when there is less stress.
Ways to Find Joy In The Holiday Season
Family tension is not the only thing that leads to stress and anxiety during the holiday season. We often try to do too much and get overwhelmed. If you are someone who struggles with adult ADHD, the holiday season can kick your symptoms into overdrive. It’s important to find ways to manage stress, slow down, enjoy the moments, and have fun!
The best strategy is to keep your holiday plans and activities on a realistic and manageable schedule. If your holiday to-do list is longer than your grocery list, it’s time to cut some things out. If you struggle with feeling overwhelmed and find it difficult to manage your time, choosing the most meaningful activities and events and putting them on the calendar will help. You may have to say no to some things, but it’s important to leave some time open for yourself to avoid burnout.
Be realistic about what you can accomplish. You might not be able to fit in baking cookies, sending out Christmas cards, or attending every party. Stick to what matters most to you and your family. It’s ok to let go of some traditions if you are strapped for time. But don’t forget to have fun and enjoy doing the things you love that bring you joy.
Practice gratitude during the holiday season. Try keeping a gratitude journal and write down moments and things in your life that you are grateful for. When you focus on gratitude, it can shift your perspective to a mindset of appreciation.
Find Support
Sometimes you just need someone to talk to when the holiday stress is upon you. Talking it all out with a trusted friend or mentor may be a way to sort out your feelings. They may offer a different perspective and tips that help them to manage their own holiday stress.
Are the holidays feeling tough for you this year? Take back your joy this season with Becoming Behavioral Health & Wellness. We’re here to help you work through triggers, past wounds, and all the feels. You got this! And you’re never alone. We offer convenient online counseling appointments to help you focus on your well-being. We also offer plant-based wellness options, such as herbs, supplements, and essential oils to use either alongside or instead of psychotropic medications. To learn more, call 708-441-9240 today!
